Originally appeared on E! Online
Gwyneth Paltrow is marveled by how time flies.
As she and ex Chris Martin prepare to send their 17-year-old son Moses off to Brown University in Rhode Island this fall, the “Iron Man” actress jokingly admitted that she’s experiencing somewhat of a “nervous breakdown” in the middle of it all.
“I started being like, ‘Oh my god, and I need to quit my job and I need to sell my house and I need to move,”” Paltrow shared during her annual In Goop Health Summit, according to The Hollywood Reporter. “It’s sort of putting things into turmoil. My identity has been being a mother.”
And with her and Chris’ daughter Apple turning 20 in May, Paltrow said she’s finding difficulty in adjusting to the empty nester lifestyle with husband Brad Falchuk.
“I’ve oriented my whole life around them and their schedules and when school starts,” she noted of her kids. “You start to let go in increments when they’re driving themselves around or doing certain things. It is a slower process.”
However, Paltrow feels “really lucky” that she’s not alone, because some of her mom friends also experiencing the same conflicted feelings.
“So, we’re kind of in it together,” the Goop mogul said, adding that she’s choosing to focus on the positives of this new chapter. “Instead of creating a sense of loss, what if I were free? And I could say yes to a girls’ weekend, because I didn’t feel guilty. That kind of thing.”
Having both her kids out of the house—as well as Brad’s children Isabella, 19, and Brody, 17, all grown up—also means allowing more time for inner growth. As the 51-year-old told E! News last year, “I would like to redefine for myself what aging is.”
“I’ve always been the person who has tried to get closer and closer to myself,” Paltrow explained, “and be really true to myself, so I’m trying to explore what that means as I age.”