Giant floating clown heads, suggestive spider doughnuts, and a googly-eyed T: 2024 was a wacky year for Boston business – The Boston Globe

OK, so the Pats didn’t make it. Instead, in a Dunkin’ ad, Boston sends the DunKings, Ben Affleck’s hip-hop crew decked out in orange and pink tracksuits, performing for Jennifer Lopez. To remind us of all we have lost, Tom Brady chimes in from the sidelines, in full DunKing regalia. So does a visibly unimpressed Matt Damon, who utters perhaps the year’s most memorable line: “It’s really hard to be your friend, man.” And yes, that was Governor Maura Healey, Lieutenant Governor Kim Driscoll, and former governor Jane Swift dressed up as the DunQueens, at the St. Patrick’s Day breakfast in Southie several weeks later.

Can giant clown heads help save downtown? The Downtown Business Alliance — née the BID — sure hopes so. The disembodied heads, designed by artist Max Streicher, showed up out of nowhere, wedged into an alley as part of a multiblock art installation to spur postpandemic foot traffic. From a noisy whale sculpture on Washington Street to a girl up on a swing high above Winter Street, the BID gave visitors something to talk about. Did the oddities increase business at the Macy’s or Walgreens, or the mom and pop shops? Hard to know. But people did visit, if only to see if floating clown faces look as freaky in real life as they do on social media. (In case you’re wondering, the 12 giant nutcrackers with animal heads are an entirely different exhibit.)

Trillium sure did tempt fate by naming one of its IPAs “Storrowed,” with a label showing a truck crushed by one of the roadway’s infamously low bridges. Well, fate caught up with the beloved craft brewer in May when a too-tall Trillium truck got stuck on Storrow Drive, sandwiched between the Longfellow Bridge and Storrow pavement. At least Trillium cofounder JC Tetreault could laugh a bit, telling NBC10: “When you find out that nobody was hurt, the second feeling is, ‘Well, I hope the beer’s OK.’”

The Celtics beat the Dallas Mavericks to win the NBA championship in June. Cue the duck boat parades — and the questionable merch. An intrepid Axios reporter chronicled the black market outside the TD Garden, from a stuffed Jayson Tatum plushie to “Kyrie Sucks” T-shirts to green balloon octopi. There was even a $20 poster of Hasbro-owned Transformers Optimus Prime and Megatron duking it out in front of the Garden with fans scurrying below and a Boston Police Department officer throwing his hands up in apparent disgust. We’ll just take it as a sign that Hasbro will move here after all.

Speaking of duck boats, C’s guard Derrick White ended up behind the wheel of one, bragging in a Samuel Adams ad about “a new trophy, a new tooth, a new beer, and now I need a new ride.” He plays up the local lexicon as he drives his amphibious wonder around town, saying “the Pike is a freakin’ pah-king lot” and asking, “Think this thing will clear Storrow?” Unlike a beer truck, White’s new ride has the option of diving into the Charles.

Here’s one protest that got results: the “March for Googly Eyes on the T,” from Park Street to the MBTA headquarters in April, led by two friends who wanted to bring some whimsy to the slow-zoned transit system. The online call to action summed it up thusly: “If the trains can’t be reliable, at least they can be fun.” Apparently, “Train Daddy” Phil Eng and his crew noticed. Soon after the march, T workers stuck some “googly-eye” decals on the front of Green Line trains. The cost of printing: “a couple of dollars each,” per a New York Times story. If only the Green Line extension to Medford could have been completed so cheaply.

Airbnb teamed up with Mattel to celebrate miniature plastic doll Polly Pocket’s 35th anniversary — by building a giant fold-up Polly Pocket compact case and dropping it in Westford over the summer. Neon pink and blue reign supreme in this quirky short-term rental, and plastic furniture and clothing abounds. Presumably, visitors slept in the doghouse, a candy-colored tent on one side. Functional plumbing? Nope. But there was a bathroom trailer, at least. And forget about central AC. You can’t help but question the five-star reviewers — though no one would argue with the one who called it a “once in a lifetime experience.”

You built up a biotech that eventually sold for $3 billion to Eli Lilly. So what’s your next big venture? A Puppy Palace franchise in New Hampshire? That’s exactly what Morphic Therapeutic chief executive Praveen Tipirneni seems to be doing. Unfortunately for him, while the Food and Drug Administration can seem hostile at times, nothing compares to the fury of animal rights activists armed with “Honk If You Hate Puppy Mills” signs.

Seven bulls caused chaos at the Emerald Square Mall by galloping over a parking lot fence in a dash for freedom in September. We know mall owners are turning to new business models to make a buck — just check out the giant pickleball club that opened last month in the former Neiman Marcus at the Natick Mall. But rodeos would seem like an extreme reinvention. The bulls did get corralled again, though not before New Englanders had a field day on social media. One Facebook user wrote that Spain has its bull run, so why not North Attleborough?

The marketers at Boston Beer got creative again, this time for an Octoberfest promotion. It involved seance kits designed to help Sam Adams fans get in touch with the founding father from the grave. Good thing Boston Beer warned that they are “NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.” We all know how “The Exorcist” turned out.

Dunkin’ wins the prize for Halloween promotions, however. No Matt or Ben this time. Just a saucy, punctuation-challenged arachnid with a chocolate munchkin for a head — a spider doughnut. Someone gave the keys to the Dunkin’ Instagram account to the kids, and they ran wild. One post features the purple spider doughnut treat, with the words “Ya girl said im not so itsy bitsy.” Soon, other brands chimed in, with the Jimmy John’s sandwich chain confessing “spidey d i think i’m in luv with u…” while Walgreens chided, “Dunkin please my girls on here” (though the drugstore chain’s social media team missed an opportunity to cross-promote the new line of Dunkin’ deodorants).

Self-described “Masshole” Ben Collins led the most unexpected deal of the year, the proposed purchase of conspiracy-and-supplement-peddling site Infowars out from owner Alex Jones’s nose in bankruptcy court. Collins and his team at the Onion, the satirical news site, had backing from families of the children killed in the Sandy Hook shooting; their lawsuit against Jones won a judgment against him totaling $1.5 billion in legal damages after he claimed it was all a hoax. Collins’ plan was to reboot the site as a spoof of online conspiracy theorists, though a judge held up the sale this month after a bidder aligned with Jones objected. Because the world needs more access to iodine supplements, at the crazy low, super-discounted price of $19.97.

Jon Chesto can be reached at jon.chesto@globe.com. Follow him @jonchesto.