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The coach’s press conferences from his 24 seasons with the Patriots were often — but not always — a masterclass in information suppression.
Dear University of North Carolina football media, fans, and assorted Tar Heel personnel who must now navigate having Bill Belichick in their lives,
First, a hearty thank you from your colleagues in New England for sending Drake Maye our way and — no offense intended — preparing him to play with a significant talent disadvantage in his huddle.
As you know, the kid QB is earnest, genuine, uncommonly poised, and bursting with raw talent. We’ll try not to break him, in body or spirit, but we can’t make any promises on behalf of his offensive line.
The symmetry of Belichick ending his one-year hiatus from coaching to take a job at Maye’s alma mater is as amusing as it is stunning here in New England. But it also allows for a chance to offer some reciprocal advice on how to cover and deal with the legendary coach and accomplished grump.
Some of this you may already know from watching his news conferences over his 24 seasons as Patriots coach, which were often — but not always — a disciplined masterclass in information suppression.
Ask him about, oh, whether he is considering a quarterback change after a difficult loss, and ask him again, and the answer will remain, “We’re on to Tallahassee,” or whichever Atlantic Coast Conference opponent happens to be next on the schedule.
In those news conferences, there will be snorts. Many snorts. There will be grumbles, and there will be awkward silences, usually from a disdain for your line of questioning, but sometimes just because he seems to bask in the tension.
He is a world-class scoffer. He is the best stonewaller since Jackson. Did I mention the snorts?
Sometimes, when you’re worn down and on edge and sick of him treating you like you’d couldn’t pick a football out of a lineup of sporting goods, you’ll be tempted to write something such as, “Look up the word ‘misanthrope’ in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of Bill Belichick.”
Don’t write that. You’re better than tattered clichés. And chances are he will see it — I’m not sure if this was the case late in his Patriots career, but for the brunt of his time here, an assistant would bring him a clip file every morning of what had been written. And he respects people who write about football with knowledge and passion. That may lead to a brief conversation off to the side after a news conference to further explain the fundamentals of a key play in the game, or a confirmation on a personnel decision other reporters are also chasing.
It won’t all be snorts and scowls and sighs. There will be fun and insightful days of covering Belichick, and I suspect you’ll have more of them than we did, since it benefits him to put on a friendlier face in the college game.
Some weeks, when the game plan is installed and he’s feeling good about it, Belichick’s Friday media availabilities can turn into a doctorate-level History of Football course, where you might get an eight-minute soliloquy on the benefit of leftfooted punters or why your own Lawrence Taylor is the greatest defensive player of all time.
Colleague John Powers wrote a 2018 book about this phenomenon, “Fridays With Bill: Inside The Football Mind of Bill Belichick.” You’ll find yourself hoping Belichick himself writes a book — or a few volumes, really — sharing his well of historical and tactical knowledge.
Occasionally, when it’s in his best interests to be charming (namely, when he’s dealing with something with the suffix -gate), Belichick will drop a pop culture reference that you’ve never seen coming. In a related note, it can’t hurt to study up on “My Cousin Vinny.”
This might be the most important thing about covering and comprehending Bill Belichick: It’s OK to be skeptical about how he will fare, at 72 years old, in his foray into the wild west of college football. You should be. But do not underestimate him, and absolutely do not prematurely dismiss his chances — as some prominent, territorial college football writers have done already — at finding success in Chapel Hill.
NIL (name, image, likeness) and the transfer portal have made college football more professional than professional football in some ways. Players don’t have to adhere to contracts in the college game, and they essentially can hop from program to program at will in pursuit of more money and/or more opportunity.
There has been a lot of chatter that Belichick won’t be prepared for this. That’s absurd. His preparation for everything — whether coming up with a game plan to stop the so-called “Greatest Show on Turf,” or preparing a 400-page manifesto on how to build a college football program before meeting with Tar Heels officials — might be the most extraordinary characteristic of his success.
You don’t think he picked Nick Saban’s brain for all of his thoughts, joys, and frustrations from his time at Alabama? During an appearance on Pat McAfee’s show on Tuesday, Belichick seemed energized by his new path, even talking openly about NIL spending and its similarities to NFL free agency.
As you know, Belichick already has landed one four-star recruit, quarterback Bryce Baker. And we all know it is not a coincidence that Clemson coach Dabo Swinney is suddenly willing to dip into the transfer portal for talent. Belichick is already in his fellow ACC coaches’ heads.
Sure, there will be some 18-year-olds with dollar signs in their eyes who have no interest in playing for Belichick, or would just rather deal with a less-grumbly personality every day. But his sales pitch to players who want to make themselves as appealing as possible to the NFL is breathtakingly easy:
I drafted the best quarterback and best tight end in NFL history, a Hall of Fame defensive lineman in Richard Seymour, plus Vince Wilfork, Julian Edelman, Devin McCourty, Deion Branch, Dont’a Hightower, David Andrews, Matt Light, Ty Warren, Logan Mankins, James White, Joe Thuney, David Givens, Jerod Mayo, Christian Gonzalez … oh, and I signed Randy Moss, Rodney Harrison, Wes Welker, Mike Vrabel, Corey Dillon, Stephon Gilmore, Darrelle Revis, and many more. I know talent, I know what it takes, and I can help you fulfill your dreams. Sign here. Congratulations, you’re a Tar Heel.
You might not believe this from afar, but there is a vocal element of Patriots fans who are hesitant to give Belichick his proper credit for the two-decade dynasty, as if their memories of his recurring tactical genius over those 24 years have been wiped and replaced with an endless loop of your own Sam Howell shredding the Patriots in 2023.
It’s ridiculous. The ugly final two seasons of Belichick’s tenure led to a conclusion for some that the success was mostly because of Tom Brady. Trust us, it was both the coach/player tandem and a total team effort. And if you have some doubt, we recommend going to YouTube and revisiting the Patriots’ dynasty-bookend Super Bowl wins over the Rams … staring down Pete Carroll in the final seconds of Super Bowl XLIX … mastering the calculus of coming back from a 28-3 deficit to the Falcons in Super Bowl LI … and so much more.
The news that Belichick is now Chapel Bill … well, sure, that stunned all of us up here, too. But you sure are lucky to have him. He’s older now, and his reputation took some dents post-Brady, but he is as brilliant and prepared and as motivated as ever, and that is as brilliant and prepared and motivated as any coach has ever been.
Those of us in New England who remember to appreciate all he did here know this to be true: He is about to have the last laugh over the doubters. Right, and the last snort, too.
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