Conan O’Brien explains the rules of rooting for Boston teams… and the dangers of changing allegiances – The Boston Globe

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It’s been a while since Conan O’Brien lived in the Boston area, but the Brookline native hasn’t forgotten his roots, particularly when it comes to the Hub’s sports teams.

On a recent episode of the comedian’s podcast “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend,” the former late-night host and ”Saturday Night Live” writer opened up about his longtime love of Boston sports, something he couldn’t shake even if he tried.

“Boston, from the second you’re born, it’s all about your sports team,” O’Brien said. “And you’re assigned your sports teams at birth in Boston. You don’t get to decide them.”

“The minute you’re born, they, like, brand your forehead,” he jokingly added, noting how people from the Boston area tend to love the Bruins, Celtics, Patriots, and Red Sox. “Across the board, these are your teams and it’s not open for discussion, which is fine. I accept that.”

While O’Brien has no plans to jump off the Boston bandwagon, he admitted on the podcast that he feels a little “disconnected” from the Los Angeles sports scene since moving to the West Coast. And despite his cohosts suggesting he just switch allegiances and expressing surprise at his vehemence, O’Brien adamantly swore that he’ll never root for any teams outside of Boston.

“You don’t understand, I’m from Boston and you can’t switch,” O’Brien said. “Anyone who’s from the Boston area will understand that’s just the way it is. Those are my teams for life.”

During the Dodgers’ World Series-winning run in this year’s MLB playoffs, O’Brien admitted that he didn’t feel comfortable rooting for LA, even as they took on the Red Sox’s bitter rivals, the Yankees. Despite wanting to “take part in the Los Angeles sports scene,” he explained that it didn’t feel right to support the Dodgers.

“I feel funny rooting for any LA team because I feel like, oh, that’s going to get back to Boston,” O’Brien said. “The next time I land at Logan, there are going to be three guys there with pipes, they’re going to work me over.”

O’Brien went on to joke about other rules that come with being a Bostonian, including having to get clearance to watch a movie that doesn’t star Mark Wahlberg and, of course, having Dunkin’ as the only choice for coffee.

“There are so many rules when you’re from Boston,” O’Brien said. “If you get coffee it has to be Dunkin’. And if you’re seen not having Dunkin’, again, guys with pipes work you over.”

“It’s like the Soviet Union, but guys are wearing acid wash and Boston caps sideways,” he added. “They listen to that ‘Jump Around’ rap song over and over again.”


Matt Juul can be reached at matthew.juul@globe.com.

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